“Think not lightly of good, saying, ‘It will not come to me.’
Drop by drop is the water pot filled.
Likewise, the wise one, gathering it little by little,
Fills oneself with good.”
When you ask people about their most cherished values, “happiness” is always at the top of the list. We know when we feel it. We associate it with a range of positive emotions—joy, contentment, gratification, well-being. Inarguably, happiness means something different for each of us; this becomes obvious if you simply ask people what happiness is for them. You’ll notice that the meaning varies from person to person—from having the main necessities covered to owning or achieving things to a deeper sense of meaning and purpose in life. But what is happiness for you?
When I was young—as a woman raised in a Latin American patriarchal society and religious community—I believed happiness was all about marrying a rich guy, having children, and being a good mom. But as life went by and I check-marked all the boxes, in the blink of an eye, that concept of happiness went by and was replaced by what happiness meant for the people who surrounded me during that stage of my life. Now it was all about owning stuff and living a lifestyle that included eating in fancy restaurants, traveling, being fit, remaining physically beautiful, owning an expensive wardrobe, and so many other things. I was mirroring my surroundings. And I did so until life suddenly shocked me with cancer. Then being healthy became my new happiness. It shocked me again with a divorce, and living in a healthy relationship with someone who accepted and deeply respected who I was without judgement became my new meaning of happiness. Then another shock came; my children were taken away from me. And learning effective ways to transcend trauma and experience lasting well-being became my new happiness goal.
Nearly all of us buy into multiple beliefs about what happiness is. I’m sure most of you have been there many times, saying to yourself, “I’ll be happy when …” And whatever we use to fill the blank is highly influenced by the information we’ve unconsciously learned from our surroundings. Maybe for you it’s “when I’m rich” or “when I become a mom” or “when I have a steady, loving relationship” or “when I’m famous.” The problem here is that these meanings of happiness can be initially perfectly satisfying, but soon we learn that these achievements, although satisfying, will not guarantee everlasting happiness.
Have you ever asked yourself if you experience happiness often? When you’re happy, what do you sense it’s all about for you? Is it related to pleasure? A certain activity? Connection with others? What really brings you into an experience of happiness? And when you experience this happiness, do you feel at ease and a sense of openness? Or do you not? Is there any moment where you feel happy without any reason? Do you feel spontaneously happy at times? Do you live in contentment?
Buddhists talks about two types of happiness. There’s worldly happiness, or happiness with a cause—pamoja (in Pali). And there’s spontaneous happiness, or sukha—happiness for no reason.
We experience happiness with a cause, for example, when we do exercise; this is happiness with a cause because exercising creates endorphins. We experience it when we receive a compliment, eat a certain type of food, or hug someone. Close relationships can also connect us with happiness. As can doing something you love, such as dancing or helping someone.
All of these sound great. The problem is that we tend to go after what brings us pleasure and grab onto it and end up creating a codependent relationship with gratification to feel good. Whether we’re aware or not, this learned behavior originated in our unconscious long ago—from the moment we were in our mother’s womb—from an unmet necessity from our parents or the close role models we grew up with. For example, if we had unmet needs like lack of nourishment or affection from our mother or felt we weren’t good enough, we’ll unconsciously tend to look for some kind of gratification outside, and we’ll become attached to that gratification.
From this perspective, something will always be missing to achieve complete happiness, no matter what we do. And our societies, even our religions, reinforce the notion that we need something outside of us to experience fulfillment. But that’s like putting on a Band-Aid; it doesn’t last long. In this way, our life becomes a continuous hunt; we’re constantly chasing fulfillment through our visible reality and material things.
If only I could do this thing, then I could relax and feel good.
If only I lost some weight …
If only I had financial security …
If only I had that expensive wardrobe and body … recognition …
If only I had that right partner …
If only …
Does this sound familiar?
While most people think of happiness as almost entirely a heart-based feeling, recognizing the concepts of happiness our mind is resonating with is a great part of what happiness is for each of us. As ancient Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “He who is not contented with what he has would not be contented with what he would like to have.”
Nothing is enough because the wound is inside each of us in the shape of unconscious beliefs.
Additionally, as human beings, we all have a negative bias. The amygdala is a reminiscence of our primitive brain, designed to protect us and charged with managing our flight-or-fight response. We have a natural addiction to thinking about what’s going wrong and have been habituated to thoughts that keep us anxious and depressed and that can block our happiness.
Yes! We’ve been set up for unhappiness biologically and psychologically. And although we may see some achievements, we may also see many ups and downs and a lot of setbacks. This path is taking you nowhere! If you want to get unstuck—to let go repeating patterns of suffering and unlock lasting happiness—it’s important to change your approach to happiness.
We’ve been conditioned to believe wrongly that pursuing things outside of us can make us lastingly happy. In our effortful pursuit of such dead ends, we end up ignoring other more effective routes to happiness. It’s important to recognize that we all have the capacity for happiness inside of us.
It’s time to rethink our beliefs about happiness.
We’ve learned that happiness comes from outside, but it really comes from inside. If we want to connect with lasting happiness, we must begin working from the inside out.
First, become aware of the root issue. What’s getting you stuck on unhappiness or short-lived joy? Next, neutralize and clear out this information inside of you to change and expand your resonance range.
Lasting happiness has more to do with our inner transparency and resonance than with grasping and pursuing things outside of us. If you’re willing to open yourself and step out of the pattern keeping you stuck (the fixation with pursuing things outside of you) and achieve a new happier outlook, quartz crystals can help you. Used as tools of healing, they can help you neutralize and balance the information inside your mind in the shape of energy and connect you with sukha and lasting well-being.
Science-backed quartz crystal properties can balance and transform the energy of those repeating, sticky patterns you’re dealing with. They can help you reconnect with your inner fulfillment, wholeness, and real source of constant happiness—and the growth and nourishment that results. In other words, the clarity that comes by working with quartz crystals on a consistent basis can help you resonate with the pursuit of important goals such as the experience of positive emotions and the sense of completion that comes from being connected to something larger than yourself—your life purpose.
Research suggests that happiness will not only make you feel better, but will also boost your energy, creativity, and immune system; improve your relationships; and increase your longevity. Your experiences matter! The mind takes its shape from what it rests on. Neuroscientists have documented that the brain can design new combinations of nerve cells or neural pathways in response to new input. By mobilizing our thoughts, practicing new ways of thinking, and repetition, we can expand and change the way our brains work—priming ourselves for lasting happiness!
Achieving happiness is not really a goal; it’s our fundamental nature. The cultivation of happiness is an ongoing process of transformation to return to who we really are. It’s a systematic training of the mind. It’s overcoming our negative biases or certain negative ways of thinking. It’s deliberately and carefully choosing and focusing on positive mental states, the thoughts and information you let inside, and the people you choose to surround yourself with. It’s focusing on the present, flowing with your life, counting your blessings, and being grateful. It’s taking responsibility for your happiness, instead of continuously blaming others. It’s filling your life with deep meaning and purpose, not only individually but also collectively. It’s choosing consciously each day and taking the best actions to resonate with happiness.
Lasting happiness can bring out the greatness in you and others and unlock your infinite potential! It can switch our attention from our limited mind to our infinite heart—an overflowing fountain of love, able to interconnect and bring wellness to all!
I invite you to ask yourself today: What’s between me and my lasting happiness? What’s getting in the way? Whatever the answer—fear, anger, feeling unloved, or anything else—lasting happiness is possible! Achieving genuine happiness may require transforming your outlook and way of thinking, and this is not simple. It takes time and the knowledge of an expert in this field. If you want to learn mind-blowing practices and strategies to live in happiness and you’re willing to work on yourself with discipline and perseverance—if you want to dig deep and open yourself up to everlasting happiness—I can support you in this journey. Book a crystal healing session with me today.
 Lyubomirsky, S., L. King, and E. Diener. “The Benefits of Frequent Positive Effects: Does Happiness Lead to Success?” Psychological Bulletin 131 (2005): 803–55.
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