Restoring Our Connection with the Authentic Loving Masculine

Jun 16, 2019

If you go to a kindergarten or first grade classroom, you will see boys crying, holding hands, hugging each other, and expressing love and joy openly. Unfortunately, these behaviors are rare among older boys and grown men these days.

 

The “fact” that most men do not express their emotions is known to all of us in our Western society. If you ask a man why he doesn’t express his emotions openly, you’ll like receive some version of these very common responses: “My father and friends taught me that expressing emotions openly is weak.” “Men don’t cry.” “It’s not manly.” Masculine qualities and roles are considered typical of, appropriate for, and expected of boys and men—this includes restricted emotions.

 

Men grow up aligning themselves with these “norms” in order to fit in. Men who are emotionally expressive are often judged by other men and by society. This leads many men to contain or repress their feelings. And the longer a man has made a habit of tamping down and hiding his emotions (many men have done so for years), the harder it is for him to connect when it comes to intimacy or to open up.

 

Men’s ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined. From a young age, men are taught to play hard and not to feel, not to cry, not to express warmth or affection—not to express who they authentically are. They are taught to incorporate this pattern into how they treat women and how they interact with other men. The ways boys are socialized stamps in our collective unconscious the image that men are feelingless creatures deprived of emotions and dominated by a selfish program that promotes abuse, aggression, separation, hierarchy, and competition. Many women fall into judgment and victimization, instead of understanding what hides behind this image.

 

Reality goes beyond what meets the eye. It feels like “thou shalt not feel” has become a program ingrained in men’s minds—indoctrinated by their fathers and their fathers’ fathers for many generations back, as well as by what Carl Jung called the collective unconscious, which is the part of the unconscious derived from ancestral memory common to all humankind.

 

Maybe men’s lack in terms of expressing their emotions began a long time ago with patriarchy, a societal system in which men hold the power and dominate political, religious, and social roles. Some scholars point to about six thousand years ago (4,000 BCE) as the beginning of the spread of patriarchy.

 

But please don’t believe men don’t feel. They do, of course, feel—all of us do! Men’s feelings have been buried under piles of beliefs inside their unconscious. What I have seen in my crystal healing practice is that, when men contact their crystalline essence and connect with their true deep emotions, the mere fact of expressing themselves authentically—such as crying and expressing their real feelings—heals them.

 

During healing, when men access their authentic emotions, it is as if they reset their internal programs and become transparent. Their internal resonance changes, and this is reflected in how they relate to themselves, to others, and to life in general. They begin to embody love. The authentic being pulsates in love. Once you “transparentize it” or free it from all the layers of inauthentic information that surrounds it, men’s unconscious resonates with love again.

 

Most men feel strongly about social norms and how they portray themselves to the world. The fear of being judged for being open about how they feel drives most men to take shelter in a shell of insensibility. But in reality, men are trapped in the confines of a socialization process that tells them it’s unmanly to express their emotions.

 

Dan grew up in a Latin American society that exalted macho behavior. His father rewarded and supported this behavior, as did his friends. Along the same vein, the men in Dan’s life supported each other in not showing weakness and, instead, expressing themselves aggressively.

 

Just as society prompted him to do, Dan was with many women before and after getting married. The unconscious internal program led him to repeat this behavior without any remorse, despite all the pain it caused. It took many relationships and the death of his father before Dan sought help. During several crystal healing sessions, he began to deconstruct his life and to recognize all the pain he had produced in so many women and that, until that moment, he had been operating on autopilot. He felt for the first time the pain of all the women he had been with. And for the first time, at forty-eight, he cried. As he described it, "I could not stop crying. Every time I was alone, I cried. It was like I was cleaning myself.”

 

And so it was. He began to call and write letters to all the women he had hurt to ask for forgiveness. His internal resonance began to change, and he went from being an insensitive man to a very sensitive and compassionate man.

 

Using crystals as tools in our internal work can help us debug our inauthentic, automatic internal programs and access our authentic version of reality. Today, crystals can do the same for you. What are you waiting for to change your internal programming and access your best version of reality?  

Crystal LOVE! 

Beatriz

 

IMPORTANT NOTE: Please respect our intellectual property. If you are using beatrizsinger.com copyrighted resources, please reference the source: Beatriz Singer, Journalist and Crystal Healer. Positive resonance begins with us. ;)

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